( Excuse me, I'm not sure if this belongs here, so if it needs moved, I'm sorry O.< )

I've been shy, all my life. I've never had more than a few friends, I've never been able to speak up to anyone, I've never been able to ask for help because I was afraid.

I failed a grade once because I was afraid to go to school. I don't know why I was afraid.

I don't have much time left before I'm going to have to start making it on my own, only a couple years, which isn't that much.

How can I prepare for the real world when I'm afraid of it?

If I've been this way all my life, will the future be any different?

My parental units say homeschooling is a bad idea, but I don't think it's any worse than public school. I'd get about as much social interaction in homeschooling, with none of the anxiety. >_____>

The more I'm forced to socialize, the more fearful and withdrawn I become.

Everyone thinks pushing me into social situations is the answer, but it's only made it worse.

Have you ever had social phobia? Do you still? If you don't, what changed?

moved tp relationships

I don't know.. It's like I used to have so many friends, but now I'm afraid to talk to people too. The best advice I can give you is to.. I don't know. Just.. slowly make progress.
I mean, before I became, as you would say "social phobic," I kind of wouldn't care what people think of me. I'd say whatever I want out loud, and not give a crap. But now, I really do care what people think about me. So it's like, I don't have friends because I'm quiet and want to make a good impression, not a loud mouth one. :x So, I guess, another thing to tell you is to not care about what people think? I mean, maybe you're too worried about what people think, that you don't realize that. O.O

LONG POST, excuse me.

i'm always afraid of how people will react when they meet me, seeing as 90% of the snobby people i meet ehses days make fun of me. at the moment, i haven't been talking much. even when i see a person i really want to get to know, i always just shut up and tell myself they think i am a freak and alk away. im afraid of everyones reactions. to me, that is.

yeah i have a little bit, i'm just afriad of what people think of me and are they talking about me behind my back. i try not making myself worry over what other people think anymore.

Yes, i'd have to say i'm mildly socialphobic. I'm always nervous to meet new people and fretting over what others thing of me, etc etc.

I have to say we're all born with it (this fear, that is), some people with more and some people with less.

Although the more you're forced to socialize the more fearful you become, the fact is that it's the only way to over come your fear.

Start with the mall. Try to act as though you don't care how many people are looking or if they're even looking at you or not. Pretend to be totally calm. If you can act it, over time you'll be it.

Good luck

^ that's good advice.

try maybe saying hi to people in the hallways, it'll help.
i've never had this kind of problem, in my family, i was always the outgoing kid who'd kiss anyone the first time i met them. that was when i was little of course.

AH, ME TOO! ME TOO! i always wondered if i could get over my fearness. im actually more scared of public speaking (like..talking in a big crowd) than dying.

i found out that over the past months, ive started to get over it. im slowly..VERY slowly starting to mature into the.."adult phase." i have to go to a "shrink" for my ADD and i tell her all my problems including that. shes really helped me. maybe you can go talk to a consuler? (SP)

she told me to forcefully talk to people when im in a crowd with my friends and theres a newcomer. it actually works! just like someone posted up ahead of me, you should really try it! itll boost your confidence up, not to mention you can make new friends!

i used to be that way too a few years ago. i only had 2 friends, and no one wanted to be seen with me. it was a HORRIBLE feeling!!!! i was so quiet and even the teacher made fun of me. and i even had this ugly hair that went down to my ass and i had these teeth that stuck out. i slowly made progress. after 2 years of braces, my teeth were completely straight, and i had cut my hair to normal height likei guess 4 inches below the shoulder. boys started to like me, and the girls wern't afraid to be with me anymore. i became more confident, and next thing i new, i was talking allittle...too much...in class and i was getting in trouble..but it was aiite. then i started getting invited to parties and stuff, and the boy who used to think i was so weird, tolled his friends how hott i was, and here i am. i worked my way to overcoming being shy. and u can too. its a great feeling.

Being shy is often just an insecurity. It can be very hard to overcome- trust me, I know. The best way to get over it is to strike up normal conversations with new people. Speak up in class, make yourself noticeable in a positive way. Just because people don't pay attention to you doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you- they may be thinking that you aren't open for new riends. Be friendly to everyone, and don't be afraid to speak what's on your mind.

I have more of a fear of confrontation but it's somewhat related. It's really one of those things that you have to take one step at a time.

One thing that made me have to get over it was getting a summer job in a public place, one that forces you to talk to people. I worked at an amusement park, but there's always a job at the local mall or restaurant or what have you. And in addition to helping you get over your fear, you get paid while doing it, which is definitely not a bad thing.

Oooh, if your school offers a course on public speaking, or maybe there's a debate team or a practice law group you could join. Becoming active in the drama club can also help.

Err, I have that problem too. But I'm not afraid of speaking. In fact I'm outgoing. But my classmates don't accept me. =/

My mom tells I'm an anti-social nerd. Which doesn't help much either. )=

My classmates always bother me. It's terribly annoying and now my emotional balance isn't quite well as it used to. Right now anything that is offensive that myclassmates tell me makes me feels depressed. To see the way they don't accept me 'cuz I'm from another city. )=>

I have somewhat the same problem. I'm really shy and I get uncomfortable knowing I'm going to be put into a social situation or things like that.

The only way I think one could ever overcome this is to just be forced into the situations over and over again because although it might cause more social anxiety in the beginning, soon you'll adjust to it and get used to it.

For example, if someone is scared of horror movies, it'd be best to start off small but forceful to watch a horror movie. Then, one that is more scary. Then another even scarier than that. It's kind of like that. You've gotta be in those situations (whether forced or not) and work your way up to bigger things.

Good luck. I know I still struggle with being shy and whatnot.

Eh I know that feeling. I guess you can start by raising your hand if you DO know an answer to a question in a class or something. It'll make it easier for you to talk. Try asking someone for a pencil, or the time.

i kinda use to...i'm still a little
you can't really force yourself into being social..it just grows on you
when i try to speak out..i get afraid so i just like to say stuff without thinking


fun is also a key to being social...you just have to have that one fun night where you laugh your ass off and you don't want it to end. When you're having fun you don't think of anything else

I'm shy around adults, when I do something wrong, or I'm asking for something. I hate to admit I'm wrong when adults are around.

umm, i think one way to solve it is to take a debate or speech class. beleive it or not that actually helps. i mean sorry if thats what you mean by people pushing you into things. but don't be scared to try new things. lols. its only ONE class..lols im sure it wont hurt you right? lols you'll do fine! trust me i use to be shy too, but i started volunteering to answer questions and talk in front of the class and such, and my teacher would smile and say i was right. lols and i felt good. like "YES I SOUND SMART!" hehehehe.. and then gradually my classmates and such began to notice to and i began to talk to all sorts of people because i was confident in myself. lols..now i think i have TOO many friends ;D hehe self confidence is the greatest key into being social...don't think about what they're thinking just be yourself. hehehe

if you think you're awesome then FRIGGEN AYE you're AWESOME!!!

am i still on subject...hmm i wonder....

well thers a girl i like , i literally can't talk to her in school cuz im so shy
all i say is hi?

ive talked to her on aim so i get to talk to her alot =]

yea i know what you mean. people think im overly socially active. but honestly i do know lots of people but i dont have many good friends. if you know what i mean.
it kind of sucks.
right now i feel like im stuck in one group of friends. and i love them all i really do, but with a recent break up.
i just need a break. i cant ask my friends to stop hanging with him.
but i need some new people for now.
and i dont know how to do that

i guess the best is to end all social ties and start again from the bottom.

once you're at the bottom you can only work your way up right?

For others to accept you, you must accept yourself first. I know it sounds really really corny, but it's often true. Self-confidence can really empower a person to get out there and make some heads jingle. =]

How to gain that self-confidence is the question. It can be physical, emotional, or mental confidence. I find that working out and doing some excercise will make me feel better about myself. Same thing when you do good on a test or something at school.

If you're in high school, one good way is to join clubs that interest you. They like the things that you like, which already puts you on common ground with people! Joining a sports team will also help. It doesn't have to be those exclusive sports like Basketball or Volleyball, but it can be cross country or any intramural sport. It's a great way to interact and get to know others.

Well, I hope you learn some stuff and do some stuff. =] Either way you can always come to CB's relationship forum. People are exceptionally nice here.

hmm... i'm pretty sure it's probably not what's wrong, but google Body dysmorphic disorder. it has stuff to do with social phobia. if it's not your problem... then just try to do something 'noticeable' little by little. like... say hi to a friend, raise your hand in class... just keep on pushing yourself. ask your friends to help you to, or ask your teacher to call on you more often?

and stop worrying so much. people don't judge you on every little thing you do

*hugs George*
It sounds like you've done a bit of research into social phobia. Would I be right in thinking that?

I think it's great that you're posting here about it :D Do you feel anxious about talking to people online, or is it more of a face-to-face thing?

Are there other things that you feel anxious about?

There ARE things that you can do to treat your feelings of anxiety. They may not always be easy, but you can do them! You don't always have to be this way... There are just so many things you can do that might help. Have you seen a psychologist? Or even an MD...

You can use some graded exposure to slowly get used to doing things that scare you. That means that you just start out with things that you can do - are you able to go to your local shop and buy yourself something you like? Or perhaps get on a bus to a park? You may not be able to do these things perhaps, depending on how able to cope you are outside of your home environment.




Humm... Nothing that George has said sounds like BDD to me.

Also, those of you posting here need to understand that social anxiety (which is something we all feel from time to time) is different to social phobia. It really is. Social phobia can be extremely debilitating. It goes way beyond just being shy, or being worried about what people will think of you if you do something silly.
I've worked with people with social phobia (I'm a psychologist in training and have had to do field placements) and from everything they've told me and everything I've studied about it it can be really hard to cope with. I know that one man I was working with wasn't capable of coming into the office because he was too scared to leave his house. Another did come into the office but spent a good hour sitting in the chair looking absolutely terrified because he hadn't met me before. Terrified! Of me!
I apparently LOOK like a nice person (I'm fat and smile alot :P)
He did eventually relax quite a lot, even to the extent that I think he was really close to telling me about some issues that he'd been dealing with. But I could tell, especially at first, that he was forcing himself not to be afraid.
The man I talked to on the phone wasn't dissimilar, but I managed to build up a really nice rapport with him eventually.