Mom:

Why are you PMSing again?
=(

Maybe you are...maybe..you are?

Maybe. =] I can only hope, right?

here again.

i want the memories to dissapear, i want the past to dissolve.


why dont some people just stfu.

Haha Amen.

Meh, reading back on past xanga entries... makes me remember the good times we used to have. I can't believe that it's been about 2 years and you still won't even look at me! Kenny and I took a year to start talking and become friends again, but it happened. So why can't we be friends?

____: I don't understand you. I'm sick of you confusing me. You change every day. Why can't you make up your mind about me already? I'm tired of waiting to know what's going on with you.

_____: I can't believe you said that about me last night. Oh please. Yea, that's me, offensive little Sammi who goes along with whatever my teacher says, cause I certainly don't have opinions of my own. And conceited? Right. If you would know me at all, you'd know how much I talk down about myself. But you know what? That was one thing I knew about myself. I don't have to lie about that, and say it's wrong. I know I'm advanced for my age; people tell me it every day and I can look around and tell. You expect me not to say that, especially when people ask me? You didn't even see the beginning of the conversation. How could you know what was going on? I didn't bring it up out of nowhere. There was a reason. Not once did I say, or imply that I was better than everyone. And I really am shocked that you would think I don't have my own opinions, that I just go along with whatever she says. If you knew a damn thing about me, you would know I think for myself and don't simply follow others. I hate when people follow others and don't form their own opinions. I've had my opinions for a long time, most of them since childhood, they're just more developed now. I'm sorry if I agree with my teacher some, but did you ever think that maybe that's why we get along? We do agree on a lot, but that's not because I follow her, it's because we agree. You, of all people, who's supposed to be such a good friend to me, knows absolutely nothing about me. The people I was talking to, who I rarely, if ever, talk to, know more about me than you. That's pretty sad.

you cant just decide you're a lesbian because benand i dont like you. gorw up, you pathetic little girl

The poem i wrote for english class for you and everyone has heard it but you....

________________________________

You lead your amazing band,
Holding you guitar in your one hand.
You’re nice to everyone you meet,
I love the white Adios you ware on your tiny feet.
You’re a good role model and friend for your little brother,
You respect and listen to your father and mother.
When driving you get out of the car while it’s still going,
Then Brady stops it with out you knowing.
When you’re at my house, I always get in trouble,
Because you wont leave and our time seems to double.
I always hope to see you soon,
With our frequent trips to the lovely moon.
To you I am just your friend,
To me I hope we are more in the end.
Because I heart every detail about you,
From your perfect hair to your eyes some color of blue.
I knew you a whole year before and we never talked nor did I think,
That I could like you this much because of a video you made about my favorite drink.
It always is weird between us and I never know what to say,
When we make eye contact I find myself having to turn away.
Although that night in the tent, our awkward silences were far from small,
To me that did not feel weird at all.
When I’m with you, I have so much fun,
Go-carts, steamroller, drive INS, I hope there never done.
I love sitting next to you in history,
And to you this all is just a mystery.
I can’t tell you how I really feel for I am full of fears,
That if you knew our time together could possibly end and leave me in tears.
This poem you will never read,
And this lie I am living I will continue to lead.
But it is all worth it because of you,
Because I heart everything you are and what you do.

Baby,
I don't know what the fcuk to get you for Christmas.
As for me, some jewelry would be nice. HINTHINT
Teeeheeee, Love you.

omigosh you are always in my mind. i thought i saw you, and my heart starts to race and i feel so happy, but then it was someone else. i get so sad when i feel like that. i miss you so much. i would give up everything for you.

so why is all this shit in the way.

I regret ever leaving you. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed having you and took your company for granted. I guess it's too late now.

I find myself spellbound when it comes to thoughts of you, and not necessarily in the lovely kind of way. I wonder if our friendship is healthy, for either of us. I think I need a break from you. Sometimes your sexual jokes make me uncomfortable. I'm not that kind of girl anymore. Please, ease up just a little.

You haven't been on MS for a while. :[ Ryan is a hot name, btw. ;]

NAOMI: YOU'RE BACK! Hi. I love you. I wrote you a letter and then I LOST it. I'll write another one post haste.

____: Why the hell do I like you? It's really random and weird... I'm probably just horny. Whatever. I'll wait till it blows over.

i don't know whats wrong with me. this is just crazy eh? i wanted to break up with you i thought about it for so long. i even try to lead you up to it so you wouldnt be so surprised when i broke up with you. i was gonna break up with you on that day, but instead you kept bugging me so i just it online. yea i know thats very lame isnt it. but then to my surprise you wanted to break up too. in fact you were planning on the same night i was gonna break it to you. how ironic. i guess it was a mutual break up. but i dont know if i still like you, heck even love you. or im just mad. because well throughout the relationship i thought i'd always be the one to break up with you. it seemed like i had the upperhand, the whole way. and when i break the news, you felt the same too. maybe i took you for granted, im sorry. i didnt mean to. maybe i knew you'd were crazy about me, and just lived on that part of you. and i was like i can lose you whenever i felt like it. but when i finally took the initiative it backfired on me. it was like a life lesson. and last nite, you treated me like dirt, in front of everyone. i am so embarassed it isnt funny. its like i lost not you, but all my friends too. i dont want to make them decide between us, but secretly i want them too. i love the power, which is terrible. i think im corrupted.

so yea two nights ago when we broke up you said you wanted to stay friends. and i thought that'd be a great idea. but after last night, im not sure. i dont think i want to stay friends with you. if you're gonna act that way. i kept forgiving you countless times throughout the relationship. over and over again. i was like "omg why is he acting like that?" and i thought about ending it. but i never did, i forgave you. i wanted to take the chance, take the risk, hoping you would change. like in those fairy tales, those perfect endings. maybe i was scared, of finally finding someone and losing them. maybe i never truly liked you, maybe i was just in it for the sake of having someone. anyone. cause i need someone.

and today i sit in front of my computer, moping. and well i think im over you but im not. i keep playing this image. that you come over and say you're sorry. but then i realize that you're not worth it especially the way you treated me and i can slap you right across the face. our personalities are so similar, yet so different.

i cant be friends with you, although you asked it. i am over you, but i am not over the relationship if that makes the least bit of sense. its just that i cant believe how it ended, nothing like i imagined it to be. and well thanks to you, i realize i have to start over. from the bottom. ends tie, meet new people. i cant be friends with you, because you're just like me. you want me to think that you're having the time of your life without me while im there. you want to be the center of attention. well im not gonan play your game, i'll sit there, actually quiet. and i'll ignore this game. im not gonna be friends with someone that i cared about that doesnt care about me. i have pride, but you deeply destroyed it.

and i cant get over that.

so thanks to you, for destroying me and making me start over.

the fastest would be in two hours, but you're stuck doing ap. i miss you, and i can't wait for tomorrow.

Too bad you never paid attention to me when I liked you last year. I'm taken & happier than I could have ever been with you. Sucks for you, kid.

sigh. i luf youuu. last night was fabulous.

Dear You,
How come I'm reminded of you so much when I'm trying my hardest to forget? I still miss you. I still love you. Just because I'm not trying anymore or not showing it doesn't mean the feelings aren't still there. I just stopped because you stopped responding and damnit it hurts like a bitch.
-Me.

Dear You,
I love you. You're a great friend. But man, you piss me off sometimes.
-Me.

i've tried so hard...yet...i get nothing back...i mean its not like im asking for anything in return...i really don't care if you acknowledge anything i do...just stop saying i dont do it..because trust me i do...and you're going to clean the bathroom after i cleaned it? do you realize you're making yourself look bad? thats just terrible...and you're going to say it was distgusting in there? you're a fat out lie...i JUST cleaned it...thats ridiculous.....gosh...i only wish that you're treating me like dirt because you're pregnant...i really hope and pray that you're not like this when you have your baby...i dont want your baby growing up to hate me like you do now...

---------
]on the brighter side[
i miss you a lot and i can't wait until i get to see you tommorrow!!!! hehehe...5 days without seeing you?! its been forever!! lols...i miss you and i wish that you someway or another have thought of me or have missed me over the thanksgiving holiday..lols....me = heart you

_____,
I'm going back to your house tommorow! Yay! I miss you.

_____.
stop faking it, I already know your secret. I don't know why you bother. Oh, and what you did today? That was way out of line. You are twice my age, gain some maturity, moron. Oh, and what you do to caroline especially pisses me off. All she was doing was trying to ask you a quesstion.

________,
y'know, I like that idea. The you+me+camera+mall thing. WE shall do that. lessssaaaaay, arden? two weeks? cheeeeaaaaaaa :). hehe ilu, you're so fun. but bleh, whothehell will take us? My dad might, but you know him.

I can't help but like you more and more everytime I am with you. Quit it. I hate knowing I can't have you. For once in my life I have contemplated the idea of getting someone intoxicated so I can take advantage of them but I know I can't.. I'm back to ignoring this crush after today. Hopefully I can control it.

______ -
damn you to hell !
... but then i'd have to dive back down to hell to rescue your goofy ass .

grrr ... WHY DO YOU CONFUSE ME SO !?
argh .
rawr .
although i will say i am happy to be the one guest you could have
[[ makes me feel speeecial ^_^ ]]

gosh ... do you just mess with her to piss me off ?
to FCUK UP my emotions ?
oooo you triflin' ho - bag -_-

or is someone jealous ???
[[ you say me and die ... although i probably am ... ]]

heh ... best buds thru and thru though ...
no fcukin doubt about it .
[[ i'll hunt your ass down and let my dad keep to his word HA HA HA ]]

_____ -
do i like you ?
holy schniikeyzz ....
tonights hug was fun ...
rocking back and forth ...
** happy happy happy **

uh - oh .
is someone snagging a crush ?

shit .

______ -
youre such a bitch sometimes .
i ought to punch your lights out one of these days .
but then i remember that i cant

so i lurves you .

to ________,

I want you to be my date for the grad dance...but you'll never ask me out...=(. If only you knew...

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