Is There a Doctor in the House?

Say you’re at a party. You’ve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you’re introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you’d like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven’t had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You’re filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you’ve ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .

•How do people in wheelchairs have sex?

•Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?

•Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?

•Why does asparagus make my pee smell?

•Why do old people grow hair on their ears?

•Is the old adage “beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . .” really true?

. . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.

Is it true that you can break your penis?

It pains us to say, but this is true.  There is no bone in your "bone," but you can rupture the penis, which is called a penile fracture.  Sudden trauma or bending of the penis in an erect state can break the thick tissue that produces an erection.
This happens most frequently during sex.  Don't expect to get a cast and crutches, though.  This injury is an emergencry and requires surgery to prevent sexual dysfunction.  Ouch!

Can you lose your contact lens inside your head forever? I always wondered this. Can it get stuck so that you can't get it out?

I, Billy Goldberg, would like to dedicate this answer to my dear friend caffeine.  He has been with me through good times and bad.  Without him I would not have survived the long nights of my hospital residency nor the deadline of this book.  To my friend I proclaim, "I do not hold you responsible that I am only five foot nine!"

Brainfreeze happens when something cold touches the roof of your mouth.  This sets off a series of spasms from the nerves at the roof of your mouth.  These nerves also tell the blood vessels in the brain to dilate, and this causes headaches.

Why does poo float?

Some people seem to be obsessed with the creation of the perfect poo.  My brother even called me in to examine his works of art, a true bonding moment for young boys.  Another friend described his perfect moment for us when he produced the cobra -- on that coiled around and poked its head out of the bowl.  There is something about "dropping the kids off at the pool" that makes us all smile.  So, laugh if you must, but we're sure you've wondered why some poos are floaters.

It is gas that makes poo float.  Increased levels of air and gas make it less dense and therefore cause it to float.