captured_serenity
Oct 4 2005, 06:40 PM
I just wanted to know what has everyone learned from your past relationships with boyfriends, and girlfriends. Engagement, Marriage, Couples...
What have you really learned in life from the past relationships?
I've learned, from my past relationships about Trust, Caring for one another, love, and life.
I'm writing a paper on this...please help me out. =)
stephinika
Oct 4 2005, 06:45 PM
not to get too serious too fast
not to throw around 'i love you' meaninglessly
its good to be open but you needn't share EVERYTHING
don't talk about the future too specifically too quickly
um.
yeah.
SimplicityGirl
Oct 4 2005, 06:54 PM
Don't be clingy. This applies to both girls and guys. It doesn't matter how much you like them, you do NOT need to be with them 24 hours of the day.
Don't say "I love you" if you don't truly, honestly, from the bottom of your heart mean it.
If you want to break up with them, do it as soon as you realize it. Don't lead anybody on. That's just mean.
Don't get into the commitment issue too quickly.
Don't make any accusation of them liking other people than you, and don't question why they like you. Just live with the fact that they like you out of everybody else. If you really are curious, ask once, but never again.
Don't put on an insecure show in front of them. That's just plain annoying.
There's no need to make every month's anniversary special or important.
If you don't like them, say so. Don't lead them on and go out with them.
Don't blame the other person if they chose to break up with you, and don't blame yourself.
Don't try to be friends with them immediately after you guys broke up. Wait for some time to pass before you do that.
...and last of all, don't be afraid to love again if your heart's been broken.
yummy_delight
Oct 4 2005, 07:06 PM
I've learned:
+ High school romances are not as serious as most of us hype them up to be.
+ People change. So do feelings.
+ Trust is essential.
+ Long distance is almost never a good idea.
+ Actions speak much MUCH louder than words.
Nicolatofu
Oct 4 2005, 07:10 PM
There's no such thing as 'in the moment'
The firts falling-in-love feeling doesn't really last.
Don't say anything to your significant other that you will regret saying tomorrow.
When making a big decision that could change the relationsip, really think it through. really.
FREEcandies
Oct 4 2005, 07:26 PM
Wow...that is such an open question. Where does one even begin?
silver-rain
Oct 4 2005, 07:33 PM
- Communication is definitely important.
- Learn to open up about yourself and be more comfortable (either with yourself and/or each other)
- Stop wondering "why is he with me" and just be happy that he wanted to be with you
- Be more caring, compassionate, etc.
- Don't plan too far into the future, just focus on the here and now.
brandon32490
Oct 4 2005, 07:53 PM
(1)Personality matters more importantly then looks.
(2)High school relationships aren't as serious as people say they are.
(3)If you aren't satisfied with your relationship, don't wait till something bad happens to dump them.
(4)Online relationships are NOT worth it.
(5)If a male wants your body, do not go out.
(6)If a female wants your body, do not go out.
(7)Always be 100% satisfied when you are with your partner, otherwise your partner will become uncomfortable and will start thinking you want to break up with him or her.
(8)Never rush things. Personally, its a stupid thing to do.
(9)Never fight for a man or woman, in the end it isn't always worth it.
(10) DO NOT FALL FOR SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE WITH.
(11)Do not worry about what happens between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. I've learned that worryness always leads to uncomfortable relationships which lead to break-ups in a short amount of time.
(12)Never ask to many questions to the point that your partner will think your over-protective. Give them some space.
(13)Men should always pay for the dinner, even if the female is rich.
(14)Do not go out with a male or female just because your friends said you wouldn't do it.
(15)Never get obsessed with someone.
(16)Never make your partner feel embarrased, unless he or she is willing to be embarrasing with you.
(17)Never call them all the time, never send them notes during class.
(18)Never be to sweet, never let your partner have full control over you because then it would become boring which will lead to break-up.
(19)Even though you may want to talk about your personal life with your loved one, never talk about depressing stuff unless he or she wants you to. Depressed conversations are intense.
(20)Never say you cut yourself. Cutting yourself is a dumb thing to do, but your loved one doesn't want to know about that. Also, never tell them that you've commited suicide before. At least..not until the relationship gets comfortable enough to express those kinds of memories.
(21)Offer to go somewhere. You never know what you have until you loose it.
If I know anymore, I will edit this.
lexaa621
Oct 4 2005, 08:36 PM
don't kiss up
don't be clingy
try not to get jealous or obsessive
if your partner doesn't seem to like you s/he probably doesnt
don't date fickle people
yeah...
/edit/
oh yeah. long distance relationships = quite painful. i learned my lesson.
angelrevelation
Oct 4 2005, 09:21 PM
it's hard to explain... but i've learned to not be so afraid... *sigh*
sadolakced acid
Oct 4 2005, 09:24 PM
relationships suck.
KissMe2408
Oct 4 2005, 09:41 PM
oh gosh, i've learned alot....
(1)Be sure that the person respects you. IMPORTANT!
(2)Do not settle for anything less then what you are looking for
(3)It's not good to be possesive of the other person
(4)Getting too physical in the relationship is a no-no. It usually ends bad. It changes the relationship
(5)Be open about things, talk things over. Don't leave things unsaid
(6)Learn to Laugh, it doesn't have to be drama-drama. You should laugh too!
(7)Really get to know the person before you even start to date them. Be friends first.
(8)It's good to have things in common with the person
(9)Trust, Being Honest and Open...are some key things.
(10) Don't throw the word "love" around...just don't
(11)No need to rush
(12)If you are crying more then you are smiling there is something wrong.
(13)Make sure you love their personality AND are attracted to them. not one or the other. Be sure you have both.
(14) IMPORTANT! the man should be a GENTLEMEN....very important.
(15)Key word : MAN. not boy.
(16)Let them have their space, but remain close.
(17)Don't let the person control you.
(18)Long distance relationships are hard, i wouldn't recommend it, it hurts.
(19)When you care about the person, you are blind. So be careful, guard your heart
(20)it is the small things that matter...it really is. you can tell alot by those
(21)Only date when you are ready, when you truly care about the person, they meet all you requirements( for example for me: Christian, strong, good personality, handsome, etc...), and when you feel secure and comfortable. Be careful nonetheless.
(22)Your first love will always stay with you, your first dance with him, first walk in the park with him, and your first kiss. No matter how hard you try, you'll never forget those simple things, and it will come back to you when you least expect it.
(23) I really could go on and on, i have like a billion of them...but i will stop for your sake :)
redpeony
Oct 4 2005, 09:46 PM
There must be more than the initial physical attraction for the relationship to last... and that substance has to be built up before the that initial attraction fades away
Be straightforward, open and honest with each other
Don't be afraid to fall when it feels right
A good relationship is one in which the two people work together to solve their problems, not against each other. (Seems obvious enough)
Trust... but it has to be earned.
Maturity makes a crapload of difference.
cfaye3char
Oct 4 2005, 10:04 PM

trust is a big thing for me. how to trust people and get them to trust you and respect you. caring is also big for me knowing when someone cares truely about you, and that I care for them. Don't let people use you for anything. Like take you for granted by not caring. Plus try and not let anybody break your heart, that is a tuff one, you have to be strong. This is a hard question for me because my life has been kind of ruff as far as emotions go...yeah tuff
captured_serenity
Oct 5 2005, 09:14 AM
Thank you everyone for your honest opinions! =) That helps a lot.
I practically agree with everyone who posted, because I really feel that all of these can be learned not only by relationships but some can be learned from Family and Friends too!
Thank you everyone who posted! =)
mouse_3k
Oct 5 2005, 10:29 AM
-Never become to attached
-What doesnt kill you makes you stronger
-Do NOT go for anything because you think hes just hot....he might be an @sshole
-Revenge is sweet
hammers and hearts
Oct 5 2005, 12:23 PM
ive learned that long distance relationships wont work unless your love for that person is really strong
and say "i love you" only when its truly meant
OhXiet_ItzDonnA
Oct 5 2005, 05:01 PM
What I learn was to listen to my friends next time...make sure I go out with the right person...and....that's it I think.
EmmalieV
Oct 5 2005, 06:11 PM
dont fall to fast
take it easy
get to know them for more than 2 weeks before making it official
if he asks something inappropiate in the beginning he probaly wont be good
love slowly
_sarcastic_
Oct 5 2005, 06:12 PM
if you're going to move away, don't turn your relationship into a long distance one, it'll just make things worst
if you're not very interested with your partner break up with him straight away.
don't take things TOO slowly, it kills the relationship sometimes
eunie03
Oct 5 2005, 06:15 PM
Honesty is a road less traveled.
mzkandi
Oct 5 2005, 06:22 PM
Trust my female intuition.
Chii
Oct 5 2005, 06:43 PM
¤ at the first sign or at most second sign of abuse, RUN. don't sit around and listen to bullsh*t again and again
¤ choose your battles wisely...don't fight over something stupid like being 20 mintues late
¤ if stupid fights happen again and again even after you talk about things...it's can't work out
¤ let your true feelings out, don't bottle things up inside
¤ don't drag things on to prevent the other from getting hurt, that person will get hurt either way
¤ be who you really are, don't fit yourself into a mold for him/her
technicolour
Oct 5 2005, 07:29 PM
QUOTE(sadolakced acid @ Oct 4 2005, 9:24 PM)
Amen to that.
And that...high school is just a stupid time to have any relationship..for me at least.
Mulder
Oct 5 2005, 07:29 PM
sigh..ive had one boyfriend. 5 years ago...when i was 12.
um..dont be clingy.
dont talk about serious topics like religion.
be open with them, trust them.
sadolakced acid
Oct 5 2005, 07:41 PM
QUOTE(Kristinaa @ Oct 5 2005, 7:29 PM)
Amen to that.
And that...high school is just a stupid time to have any relationship..for me at least.
yup. had one high school relationship, and that was enough.
waiting till college.
technicolour
Oct 5 2005, 07:45 PM
QUOTE(sadolakced acid @ Oct 5 2005, 7:41 PM)
yup. had one high school relationship, and that was enough.
waiting till college.
same. It's for everyone's sanity...especially mine.
yuna*
Oct 5 2005, 08:00 PM
- Don't exactly split out all your feelings to the guy
- Don't take serious of highschool relationship
- Most guys are morons.
jooleeah
Oct 5 2005, 10:20 PM
Middle school relationships are moronic.
Being too clingy is bad.
Things won't work out well if you worry too much.
Hiphop d[-_-]b
Oct 5 2005, 10:51 PM
Never give your heart wholely to them.
I still havent mastered that technique.
Dont believe the whispers. Go straight to him.
Believe in yourself.
sadolakced acid
Oct 5 2005, 11:57 PM
QUOTE(yuna* @ Oct 5 2005, 8:00 PM)
- Don't exactly split out all your feelings to the guy
- Don't take serious of highschool relationship
-
Most guys are morons.i think a more proper one fore the last one is..
most guys who date seriously in high school are morons.
anniepiee
Oct 6 2005, 12:11 AM
ive learned a lot.
and most of them repeat the ones that many has said.
but most of all
never get obsessed
dont say "i love you" 1 or 2 weeks into the relationship. say it when you mean it. not becuase you have to.
never let relationships become the number one thing in your life. when you still have school and friends.
i can go on.. but i'm done =]
TheReasonWhy
Oct 6 2005, 09:46 AM
don't fall in love easily.
but i guess you can't control yourself.
well, don't be so wishful.
steezahh
Oct 6 2005, 10:39 PM
trust is key; the guy should never be afraid to kiss the girl// its not always a girl slaps the guy because of it! lol...just a few things i`ve learned!
lit0chinagirl
Oct 8 2005, 02:24 PM
i don't know if you're still writing that paper but here's what i've learned:
-high school relationships are overrated- i'm waiting until the end of my senior year [i'm currently a sophomore] to try again. one is enough for me
we expect them to last for a long time but when it comes down to it, we end up breaking things before within a matter of months. in a way, we kid ourselves into "that fairy tale ending" but for some, it actually does come true. others- we grow restless
-communication is key
-sometimes our busy lifestyles dont allow us to stay in a relationship
-don't let yourself go to quickly. you may love the person but you shouldn't allow them to get too touchy
-don't be afraid to trust them
-dont be afraid to speak your mind, if something bugs you about the one you're with, make an effort to point it out. don't be afraid to yell at them a little.
-don't be so quick to say i love you and never question yourself about whether or not you love them.
and mostly
if it was meant to be, let it go and if it comes back to you, then it was always yours (yeah, it's cliche)
-"breaks" can give you a lot of time to re-validate yourself
sheepy
Oct 9 2005, 07:57 PM
oh i learned a lot.
-don't base relationships entirely on feelings, have some common sense with you and LISTEN to what your friends say because sometimes what they see, you're blind to.
-just because he said i love you with the most sincerest words ever, doesnt mean he really means it.
-really big teddy bears arent that great when he wont write more than half a page on a card.
-physically hurting yourself is NOT worth it for a guy.
-you know something's defnitely wrong when you're avoiding him, and hoping he'll talk to you after a week.
-crying yourself to sleep everyday doesnt exactly spell love.
-when he doesnt try to work things out 'because he's too scared to' is just a big lie.
-memories are really hard to forget and painful because you know that's all they will ever be.
-sometimes you find yourself missing him just because of one moment which isnt worth 205928 other miserable days
-if you trust him, it doesnt mean hes worth trusting.
-pretty words are bs
ChasingLife87
Oct 9 2005, 11:50 PM
guys aren't worth it. Men, maybe, but guys, no. Heck no.
Don't settle for the one you can live with. Wait until the one you can't live without.
Gypsy Eyes
Oct 10 2005, 12:46 AM
- Sometime's it's just better to be yourself. Making yourself seem like "the perfect girlfriend" only causes trouble.
- When he asks you what you want for your birthday, say suprise me not nothing.
- Don't be shy
- Some secret's are meant to be kept between you and him.
- Always say what you want to, later you will regret it
this is a very good topic by the way, I'll add some more later. Good luck on your paper!
Latina Babii
Oct 10 2005, 02:54 PM
I learned not to fall to deep.
Ok maybe not the happiest thing in the world, but I also learned to get over self conscience issues ^^
redpeony
Oct 10 2005, 11:13 PM
WHEN IT DOUBT, TALK IT OUT
topsyturvy
Oct 11 2005, 04:27 AM
^ AMEN.
QUOTE(ChasingLife87 @ Oct 10 2005, 11:50 AM)
guys aren't worth it. Men, maybe, but guys, no. Heck no.
Damn. Do we have to wait until we get to college, then?
` 99.9% of long distance relationships don't work out. They just don't.
` Being separated from him/her for more than 5 hours is enough to drive you nuts - even when you're sleeping.
` Never talk to your bf about how hot other guys are, unless they're 100% unattainable.. like, Ryan-Cabrera-unattainable.
` If you are forgetful and easily bored, keep a small notepad close by to jot down major points when you're on the phone with them, just in case they ask you about it in the future.
` Don't say "i love you" until you know you do. Say "i heart you" or "i need you" but not "i love you". Just don't. Otherwise, when the time comes that you finally realize you
really love them, you'll have something meaningful to say.
` When you see their screenname on your contact list but refuse to click on it and type "hey", then something's wrong.
` Give hugs whenever you can.
Fabio.
Oct 11 2005, 08:19 PM
QUOTE(K!$$ @ Oct 11 2005, 4:27 AM)
` When you see their screenname on your contact list but refuse to click on it and type "hey", then something's wrong.
Haha, yeah.
Course, I have that problem with friends sometimes.
mwahxd
Oct 12 2005, 11:45 PM
i learned not to say u love a person so fast, i learned not to lie to urself wen things arent right caz u are afraid of wat will happen, i learned not to give in all my trust into a person so fast, i learned not to give that person my whole heart, i learned not to be so naive
sadolakced acid
Oct 13 2005, 12:25 AM
the faster you fall, the hotter it gets, and the harder you hit, the quicker you get there and the bigger the crater left.
that being said, nothing wrong with a fiery dive as long as you slow down before you hit.
xbby_charmz
Oct 13 2005, 12:27 AM
ME what I learned was that I shouldnt get in a relationship to fast, I should get to know the person and be able to know about his past. Not just jump into somethin without knowin the real him. cause if yah do you'll wind up months later with meaning less conversations, a hi and bye which sucks. I also learned that
sometimes I love you dont mean a thing. Also that not to get to serious kinda what I said before but as in harmones. Dont get to serious cause if your unsure with being with that person for a life time you might just regret it. Also I learned that I need to be more open not shy all the time. I need to be myself. sometimes i cant over come that.
ichiban
Oct 13 2005, 12:28 AM
actually THINK before you get into the relationship
don't say i love you unless you know you really, really do
think of more things to say
don't get into relationships with really close friends unless you're positive it'd work out
xbby_charmz
Oct 13 2005, 12:36 AM
QUOTE
actually THINK before you get into the relationship
don't say i love you unless you know you really, really do
think of more things to say
don't get into relationships with really close friends unless you're positive it'd work out
I so agree for me I could never get into a relationship with a close friend atleast not now in high school life cause it can get pretty crazy with the other girls and stuff
rockmyx
Oct 13 2005, 07:02 AM
dont give your 100% and leave something for your self
if you two broke up
at least you have some pride and ego with you to take home
guess thats what happened
l just gave my 100%
sweetness become bitter
too much always have a bad effect on everything
too much sweetness taste bitter
^__^
life lesson learned
loving's great irony is letteing go when you need to
hold on and/or holding on when you needed to let
go. loving people means giving then the freedom to
choose whon and where they want to be,
regardless whether those choices leads toward or
away from you.
Fabio.
Oct 13 2005, 12:49 PM
Every time you are in a relationship with someone, you give them a piece of your heart. The more of your heart you save for your husband or wife, the better.
iNyCxShoRT
Oct 13 2005, 01:24 PM
When telling your boyfriend something, be as straightup as possible. Give them some space, they need to hang with their buds too.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please
click here.