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tweeak
My friend posted this, and he said that that his friend had sent to him, so I'm not sure where it originated, but it certainly is amusing (I loathe this song for good reason)

QUOTE
Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl” is one of the most baffling pieces of music of the modern age. It’s got something to do with cheerleaders—that much is clear, judging from the chanting and the marching band that’s honking and tooting in the background. Beyond that, good luck deciphering the song’s ambiguities. We were so vexed by the mystery that is “Hollaback Girl” that we have devoted countless hours to its study. Our conclusions are below. The first thing you should know, though, is that Gwen is not singing “I ain’t no Harlem fat girl”—at least, we don’t think she is.

Uh huh, this my shit
Gwen is introducing us to her shit.

All the girls stomp your feet like this
This talk of shit and stomping has nothing to do with actually stepping on feces. But what does it mean? From a reading of the later text, we can conclude that the song takes place in the world of high school athletics, and that Gwen is apparently leading the girls in a calisthenics exercise. The “shit,” we surmise, is what she calls the exercises she’s teaching the other girls.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that

Here, Gwen exhorts the girls to try harder as they jog around the track, reminding them that physical fitness is “not just gonna happen,” but must be worked at.

Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl

These lines are the most confusing, but their meaning will become clearer later.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit
Gwen repeats this four more times. She wants to make sure that we are well acquainted with her shit.

I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn’t think that I would hear it

Gwen has been the victim of some slanderous high school gossip, and she doesn’t appreciate it. Gwen is 35 years old sliding into MILF status at this point, but we’ll grant her some poetic license.

People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack

Gwen is going to round up a “posse” of her girlfriends and retaliate against the person who’s been talking “smack” about her.

Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
Gwen is going to beat up the person who wronged her, after she completes the cheerleading routine that will inspire the football team to score a touchdown. Gwen has interesting priorities.

That’s right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up
It seems the entire cheerleading squad is going to beat up the person who spoke ill of Gwen; they have put down their pom-poms, and they are now “fired up” to exact swift and terrible vengeance on Gwen’s behalf.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl

Gwen is apparently the captain of the cheerleader squad; she is the girl who “hollas” the chants, not one of the girls who simply “hollas” them back. Given that the squad is preparing to beat somebody up on Gwen’s behalf, she’s picked a strange time to remind them that she is their leader and they are her sheep-like followers. Gwen obviously rules her squad with an iron fist.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
Again with the shit.

So that’s right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I’m gonna fight, gonna give it my all

We learn that it was a “dude” who gossiped about Gwen. She challenges him to a fight at the bleachers. If he imagines it will be a fair, one-on-one fight, he is sadly mistaken. Gwen and her aforementioned “pack” will pounce on him like rabid wolves.

Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That’s right, I’m the last one standing, another one bites the dust

Gwen’s pack of furious cheerleaders leaves the boy a quivering, bloody heap behind the bleachers for the groundskeeper to discover the next day.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl [/i]
Having completed their ghastly work, Gwen’s squad members return to the field and resume their cheerleading activities, as Gwen reminds them once more that she is the boss and they are all her bitches.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
By calling her exercise routines “shit,” Gwen is showing us that for all her bravado, the character in this song secretly suffers from profound self-esteem issues. She is a complex antiheroine for an age of changing gender attitudes and expectations.

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Here, Gwen steps away from this bloody spectacle for a moment to comment on the madness and ugliness of what we’ve just witnessed, and, by extension, the petty rivalries of high school in general. This shit is bananas, Gwen tells us, and we can only agree. And lest we miss the point, she spells it out. And repeats it another three times.

A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl

Back on the field, Gwen is still bullying the squad to carry out her routines. But now we see her in a new light, as the sad, lost creature she truly is.

Oooh, this my shit, this my shit [repeated four times]
As the song fades out, Gwen is left only with her “shit,” the mindless exercises that bring her no comfort from the raging emptiness within. As much as she “hollas,” no one hears her cries for help.


HAHAHAHAHA!!
Looow
AHAHAHAHA. Wow, what the heck.

I found that super random but funny.
mzkandi
laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Oh my god. This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time
IamRad
bahaha that made me laugh out loud
coconutter
It's just a song... but all of our people in our school at the end of the year were addicted to it... they played it in keyboarding classes even the preps started to sing it at the talent show. Ew.
mzkandi
QUOTE(c0cONuTTeR @ Sep 19 2005, 5:27 PM)
It's just a song...
*


A stupid song at that, which is why we must mock it.
iheartjohn
QUOTE(tweeak @ Sep 19 2005, 4:03 PM)
Oooh, this my shit, this my shit
Gwen repeats this four more times. She wants to make sure that we are well acquainted with her shit.
*



ROTFL. laugh.gif laugh.gif
SillyCourtney
That is hilarious like whoa. Because, you know, everyone wants to become acquainted with Gwen's "shit." laugh.gif
michael77
This is freakin' hilarious! I loathe thing song just as much... xoxo wink.gif
silver-rain
Haha, wow that's really funny. And yes, that song is stupid and I don't really like it.
nyctophiliac
lol seriously, wtf? who actually has time to write this shit?
d0nchikit0
Yeah what she said^.

Some parts were funny, like the person being a dude.. and the first time about the shit. But then it was corny..
Kenado
Lmao I remember reading that when Toby posted that Hollaback Boy thing it was on this myspace.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...=20050628075940

It's like near the end and yeah wow it was hilarious.
tweeak
QUOTE(nyctophiliac @ Sep 19 2005, 5:19 PM)
lol seriously, wtf? who actually has time to write this shit?
*

Knowing my procrastination skills, I would.

Why someone write a song that awful?
d0nchikit0
^ Tis an awful song, no doubt. [No pun intended] It would've been funnier if there were more philosophies about the song.. I was expecting something different, like some type of subliminal message that was in the song or something.. =\ Meh well.
technicolour
QUOTE(tweeak @ Sep 19 2005, 5:57 PM)
Why someone write a song that awful?
*



Boredom. You should see all the random crap I write in my english spiral. It's hilarious. And my doodles..woooh...those are weirder.

But thank you so much for that. It helped on a bad day. _smile.gif
BOOGERSHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
have you seen the version for candy shop/50 cent? haha it's very similar.
tweeak
QUOTE(Kristinaa @ Sep 19 2005, 6:20 PM)
Boredom. You should see all the random crap I write in my english spiral. It's hilarious. And my doodles..woooh...those are weirder.

But thank you so much for that. It helped on a bad day.  _smile.gif
*

I tend to doubt Gwen Stefani (or whoever writes for her) writes out of boredom, but yeah, me too. And you're welcome happy.gif

QUOTE(je like french @ Sep 19 2005, 6:23 PM)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
have you seen the version for candy shop/50 cent? haha it's very similar.
*

Nope, I haven't, but I'm not as familiar with that song either
CLYDE
OMG Finally an explanation of this hideous song.

Gwen Stefani is bananas, b a n a n a s. I don't like her solo career, she was better off with No Doubt.
BOOGERSHAHA
QUOTE(tweeak @ Sep 19 2005, 7:31 PM)
I tend to doubt Gwen Stefani (or whoever writes for her) writes out of boredom, but yeah, me too. And you're welcome happy.gif
Nope, I haven't, but I'm not as familiar with that song either
*


i'll try to find it and post it.
sandy_lumpy_shore
QUOTE
Uh huh, this my shit
Gwen is introducing us to her shit.


That is freakin halarious. It is sooo funny. I wanna see someone do that for like What you Waitin for
lolita kitty
QUOTE
Oooh, this my shit, this my shit
Gwen repeats this four more times. She wants to make sure that we are well acquainted with her shit.


ROFL. that made me laugh out loud.
nice ;]
iTs dopey
lol
i actual know the people in the music video like know know the young people in the back doing military dancing is a middle skool that we "alvarado intermidite middle skool" dance team compete against. blink.gif
btw we were skool of the week laugh.gif
jennyjenny
The "shit" parts were really funny.
eli5e
hahahah ..niceee ...i'll consider this next time i listen to the song haha
coconutter
QUOTE(mzkandi @ Sep 19 2005, 5:28 PM)
A stupid song at that, which is why we must mock it.
*

True that.
hall0w
LOL
Blue-Chan
So much translating, I could barely keep up.
Saying "this my shit" was what made me hate the song in the first place.
stubborn.gif
jnukes
" This shit is bananas, Gwen tells us, and we can only agree. And lest we miss the point, she spells it out. And repeats it another three times. "


^^^ lol tha only funny part .
HappyHeart
Looks like somebody has too much time on their hands
EddieV
wow, very interesting....
toodlepops.
Hahaha. My sister was wondering why I was laughing to the computer screen
FREEcandies
HI-larious.
whooooshy
HAHAHAH! that is hilarious!! that song seriously gets on my nerves pinch.gif
incoherent
lmao nicki. thats freakin hilarious.
"aint no harlem fat girl" haha. i think ill write a song now.

edit://
so...i actually wrote the song.
Harlem Fat Girl
Originated From Gwen Stefani’s “Hollaback Girl”
By: Spencer

Uh huh, this my shit
All the girls eat your meat like this

Chorus [x2]:
Sometimes I can’t walk that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Because I am a Harlem Fat girl
I am a Harlem Fat girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit [x4]

I really want to eat that meat
With all the band members of Backstreet
People hear me coming up soon, getting the grilled all fired up
So I'm ready to eat, getting off my feet
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna eat all
That's right, put your vegetables down, and pick the chicken up


Chorus [x2]:
Sometimes I can’t walk that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Because I am a Harlem Fat girl
I am a Harlem Fat girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit[x4]

So that's right dude, spend all you money
No credit cards or being funny
Both of us wanna super dinner, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna fill my stomach
Gonna eat it all, gonna dine all night
That's right, I'm the last one standing, and another one barfs it up

Chorus [x2]:
Sometimes I can’t walk that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Because I am a Harlem Fat girl
I am a Harlem Fat girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit,this my shit [x4]

Let me hear you say, the shit is some chicken, C-H-I-C-K-E-N!
The shit is some chicken, C-H-I-C-K-E-N!
Again the shit is some chicken, C-H-I-C-K-E-N!
The shit is some chicken, C-H-I-C-K-E-N!

Chorus [x2]:
Sometimes I can’t walk that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Because I am a Harlem Fat girl
I am a Harlem Fat girl

Ooooh ooh, this my shit, this my shit [x4]

(it may not go with the song, but i wrote it in about 5 mins and didnt care)


side note:
no offense to the people of harlem. i just thought it was funny that they said that in the article and decided to add it into the song.
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