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gentleman? do people still have manners nowadays?
brooklyneast05
post May 14 2010, 04:37 PM
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do you try to be a mannerly young gentleman?



i do. open doors, pull out chairs, stand up when a woman returns to the table provided we are at a nice restaurant and not mcdonalds, etc. unless i'm in a bad mood, then sometimes i just slam the door in my girlfriends face and what not.


 
sixfive
post May 14 2010, 05:00 PM
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I pull seats / open doors / let ladies go first but I don't stand. That just seems to me like an old tradition with no real value aside from being a gentleman. Opening the door though benefits them, they don't have to open it. Standing up just makes an ordeal of their return to the table.
 
brooklyneast05
post May 14 2010, 05:02 PM
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i agree
 
brooklyneast05
post May 16 2010, 01:55 PM
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do you pay for most meals or split it
 
Blyat
post May 16 2010, 02:05 PM
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My boyfriend always pays, I somtimes feel guilty , I would definetly split the money is he needed to.

So wait like hwen your girlfriend enters the room, you would stand up for her? (tradition)
 
brooklyneast05
post May 16 2010, 02:18 PM
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only at at somewhere like a nice restaurant (usually), if a woman leaves and come back, then the men are supposed to stand up while they sit down. i don't even get where this tradition came from. my dad used to force it on me though which is probably the only reason i even think to do it.
 
Blyat
post May 16 2010, 02:23 PM
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oh I see, well thats understandable but i could see why some don't really do that anymore
 
sixfive
post May 16 2010, 02:26 PM
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If I have a date with me, I always pay.
 
karmakiller
post May 16 2010, 02:34 PM
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I don't understand a man standing up when a lady leaves the table, unless if he is sitting next to her and him standing up helps her leave the table without causing a commotion. Or if she is leaving for good, then it's always easier to give her a hug, shake her hand, whatever, when both of you are standing.

I think in general good manners should be used to show respect and appreciation, not something you do because you have to. If you were to come to my house for dinner and put your elbows on the table or reached across the table to grab a dish of food that you wanted, no one would say anything, because my family doesn't think it's disrespectful, but if you were to come and eat without saying thank you or if you didn't excuse yourself from the table in the middle of the meal and just got up and left, it would be considered disrespectful.

Holding the door is something people will even do for strangers, but it's not something you should expect people to do for you. If I go out with a guy and he holds the door I appreciate it, but I'm not going to stand there and wait for him to open the damn door. I'm not that delicate of a woman that I need a "man" to open the heavy door for me... maybe some of these things came about not out of respect but because women were seen as weak? I mean why would I stand there and wait for him to open the car door for me, when opening the door myself would hurry things along?
 
brooklyneast05
post May 16 2010, 03:25 PM
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^yeah you know i'm always surprised how many people just get up and leave the table. my mom would beat my ass if i did that.


i agree about the opening doors thing. i usually open the car door for my girlfriend, but i'm not always going to go out of my way. if she just stood there and waited that would piss me off and i'd just get in lol. i think it's ridiculous to expect it. i'd rather it be a nice gesture by me than something that's expected all the time.

i feel the same about paying, not really with her because we share money anyway so it doesn't matter. but with any other girl, or person in general, i don't mind paying but i don't want it to be automatically assumed that i will without any offer from them.

oh yeah and with friends i feel like if i pay, they should automatically plan on covering any tip. if someone pays for my meal i will always pay the tip, i mean it's the least you can do is throw in a few f*cking dollars.
 
Blyat
post May 16 2010, 03:35 PM
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My boyfriend will open the doors for me, but like you guys have said I wont like stand there and be a puss about it
Like ive told him he does not have to go out of his way, like I dont care if he does gentlemen stuff or not, I will apprechiate him

And the money thing, there are like 3 people I would always offer to pay, the rest I would want them to contribute
 
synapse
post May 17 2010, 12:30 AM
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Yeah, I'll act like a gentleman, it's not too hard anyway. I do stand when someone leaves the table and returns. I gesture that I will pay. Sometimes it get's split.
 
tokyo-rose
post May 17 2010, 12:53 AM
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Most of the guys I know are polite and act the part of a gentleman, especially my boyfriend and a few of my close male friends. I like to open doors for the ones who feel that they should always be the ones opening doors for females, and say, "Ladies first!" :p
 
DoubleJ
post May 17 2010, 10:08 PM
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I always pay and open doors/stand when they come to the table/take their coat off/put it on/make them walk on the inside of the sidewalk
 

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