Long distance relationship NOT working Options

[megggnasty]

One of my best friends lives in London, England and we've known eachother for about 2 years, I think. We are SO close, I don't think we could be any closer... other than distance-wise. He's made all these amazing friends in London and he has a boyfriend now, but he's a real mess. This summer he's going to a clinic for anorexia and alcohol and drug abuse. I'm just constantly worrying about him and wishing I could be there with him to talk. My parents don't let me call him because long distance fees would be way too high. So, all I have is MSN and e-mail, which is totally not enough...

I feel like I'm literally going CRAZY without him. Absolutely everything reminds me of him, from this one song to any emotions I feel. I just can't get him out of my mind, no matter how hard I try and to know that him and his friends there would accept me, it makes living here with my friends that much harder. I want to be with him so badly, it drives me nuts and it feels like he doesn't need me anymore because he has his many friends and his boyfriend and he's so much more outgoing than I am.

I don't know how to move on and get over him. Everytime I think about making new friends (which I'm too shy for) I just think of him and his friends and it feels like any people I would meet would never be able to compare to them, so I just don't really feel like I'm actually friends with the people I know here.

So, I guess parts of that are confusing, but the bottom line is that I CAN'T STAND BEING WITHOUT HIM and I don't know how to fix it, because it's REALLY affecting my life and my relationships (friends + family). I cry every night thinking about him and I shut people out of my personal life because I want it to be between him and I. I was even wanting to try and go to university there just to be with him, but it'd be too expensive and my parents would never go for it.

I just feel so torn apart... I don't enjoy anything because it wasn't done with him and I want this feeling to go away. But if I try and talk to him about it, I'm worried I'll freak him out.

[*Uronacid*]

You have to accept that you won't be able to call him... sorry, but you have gotten yourself into this mess. I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment. I know I couldn't handle an "over-seas" relationship for that very reason. I wouldn't be able to afford it.

I'll guarantee you this. As much as you think you might "love" him. You don't. In fact, you barely even know him. You really don't know the person until you meet him in real life. Do you really think you have a chance of meeting him in real life? Maybe, if you have the resources... If not I would quit worrying about it. Suck it up... sorry...

[soulgetpast]

hahah well then maybe you should tell her that long distance relationships arnt gonna work haha


they never do so why even make the effort

[megggnasty]

^ Did you even read my post?

Uronacid;
What you say is true, I don't know him face-to-face but we share everything with eachother. He makes me feel happy when we talk, and that's one emotion that I haven't been able to feel for a long time. I get attached to people easily and it's hard to just let go of him like you say to do. He's just an amazing person underneath all of the harmful things he does to himself. I can't get up and walk away from him, it's not that simple. He knows me better than my own parents do, but missing him is making me sick and I can't seem to find other people to confide him other than him and my other best friend who moved away last year.

[soulgetpast]

not really read the headline and decided to say that long distance relationships never work

they never do trust me

[megggnasty]

^ If you didn't read it then I don't think you should be replying.

[*Uronacid*]

^ Did you even read my post?

Uronacid;
What you say is true, I don't know him face-to-face but we share everything with eachother. He makes me feel happy when we talk, and that's one emotion that I haven't been able to feel for a long time. I get attached to people easily and it's hard to just let go of him like you say to do. He's just an amazing person underneath all of the harmful things he does to himself. I can't get up and walk away from him, it's not that simple. He knows me better than my own parents do, but missing him is making me sick and I can't seem to find other people to confide him other than him and my other best friend who moved away last year.

Maybe you just like him because you believe that he cares... that's normal, but you have to realize that there are other people (local people, or at least within the states) that will care about you in a similar fashion. Don't be desperate for a relationship.

[megggnasty]

Maybe you just like him because you believe that he cares... that's normal, but you have to realize that there are other people (local people, or at least within the states) that will care about you in a similar fashion. Don't be desperate for a relationship.

I know that I'm desperate for a relationship, and when I find one that works I stick to it until it becomes an obsession. If I could just find decent friends around here, I'd be perfectly fine. I just don't have the courage or strength to find people and pursue relationships. But thanks for the advice, it did help but it's going to be hard.

[*Intercourse.*]

I don't think you can say long distance relationships never work if you've never been in one, thomasodell Also please read the topic and make a post that is contributing to what the poster said and not only to the title.


Anyway Meg, I'm pretty much going to agree with Josh on this one (uronacid) although I would like to point out, that I'm guessing this guy is bi-sexual? And he's in a relationship with someone else. That means even though you really like him you need to step down and get over him just a little. Being desperate over this guy isn't going to fix anything. I think you need to take a break and go out with your friends where you live and get your mind off of him. That's the only way your only going to get over him a little, and thats what you need to do. Because from the sounds of it you two don't have a very big chance.

[cori-catastrophe]

Oh. This is tough. Haha. I was just talking to you on myspace.
Ah. Yeah. Anyways...
Do you actually feel atracted to him, as a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, or do you just think of him as a good friend? I had this really good friend whom I felt I couldn't survive without who moved away. It turns out, I could survive without him. We still talk, but it was better for our relationship as being friends. Before, we stayed around each other all the time & we got into pity little arguments over the dumbest things because we were together so much. It might be for the best, you never know.
Just tell him how you feel. I know, it sounds easier than it is.

[megggnasty]

He's completely, 100% gay. We're just very, very close friends. I've just been so desperate for a good friendship lately, and he's always been there for me. I think if we had met it would be easier, but we never have. I know that sounds fishy but I trust him and he trusts me. I don't want to be in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with him, obviously I can't, I just love him so much as a friend.

I know all of you are right, it's just been really hard for me to make new friends lately without thinking of him. I've tried not talking to him and just letting him come to me, but it doesn't seem to be helping because when I lie down to sleep, it's just me and my thoughts. I have things planned for the weekend though and I'll be away for a week over mid-winter break, so that might help...

[megggnasty]

We talked for a while today about our issues and got a lot of things handled. He basically told me the same things you guys did. I want to be a part of his life so much that I'm not being a part of MINE. I'll try and get through this.

[cori-catastrophe]

We talked for a while today about our issues and got a lot of things handled. He basically told me the same things you guys did. I want to be a part of his life so much that I'm not being a part of MINE. I'll try and get through this.

Aw, Meggie. It's okay.

[*Uronacid*]

Aw, Meggie. It's okay.

You know what.. this is seriously what you need... here...

*HUG* - :]

[megggnasty]

^ Awe. (: Well, thank you. I actually have been feeling better lately, I just hope it lasts this time.

[cori-catastrophe]

^ Awe. (: Well, thank you. I actually have been feeling better lately, I just hope it lasts this time.

That's good. =]]
I do too.

[krnxswat]

Haha. He's gay

[*Uronacid*]

Haha. He's gay

That's kind of odd really... I mean, you had feelings for him this entire time and you didn't even know he was gay...

[cori-catastrophe]

That's kind of odd really... I mean, you had feelings for him this entire time and you didn't even know he was gay...

whaaaat? she said she knew he was gay in her first post.