excerpt, just one paragraph Options

[PurpleDaze112]

I wrote this is February of this year. I just wanted anyone who wants to read it and judge it, giving me the harshest criticism you can. As basckground, thi story takes place in a small, rural, southern town somewhere between 1910 and 1933. I never decided what the whole thing was going to be about.

In the depths were those too old to live at home but too young to be married. A thin layer of smoke filled the air, making it difficult to see through the darkness. The air was cooler down there, and the walls were lined with presences of peaches and pears from the last spring and summer. The two weren’t alone there. “Millie Everett,” Pete nodded toward a girl in the corner. She wore a blue dress sprinkled with yellow flowers, shoulder length hair straightened and parte don the side. She smiled before turning back toward her girlfriends. Their conversations grew more hushed. “You always ignoring me, Millie. I’m getting tired of it.” Patch left his side to sit down at a table someone had brought down. The men around it watched a checkers game because it would be sacrilege to bring cards down here, under the house of God. “I went to the city last year, to Los Angeles in California.” A man he didn’t know, caramel colored with a fine chiseled face, was talking. “That city was so big you wouldn’t believe it. And there were n****ers richer than any planter here.” “You don’t say,” Patch watched Colleen step out of the shadows. She was dressed in a gauzy pink dress too formal for the occasion. When she turned her gaze on him her eyes looked bigger and browner than they’d been before. He looked away.