From the day I opened my eyes;
I hated the thought of love and life;
Now with the thought of you;
I can't talk it anymore;
You gave all this CRAP because I am me;
I am sick of you and this thing called L-I-F-E;
The life I have isn't good enough and isn't up to standard for you and now it will be OVER between you and me FOREVER;
You are just so pointless right now;
Judging me like I am some movie or song;
Labeling me;
Chosing what I am even thought you would never know me;
Leave me alone;
Let me be;
I get enough from people like you;
Stairing into space;
Ignoring words;
ITS NOT WORKING;
JUST FORGET I LIVE AND LET ME BE!




just let me be....

This sounds really emo..

I don't really like hot it is. This is also really short. Keep working on your wrighting. It will get better.

hi....umm..please don't label my work.... i didnt get to add onto it yet...please dont label it emo...its really stereotypical....


i dont mean to be mean...or sound rude...i just really don't need this to be labeled....please forgive me

It sounds like a quote to be honest with you. Also I think Shelby was just trying to give you her opinion. Which is what this forum is for, if you want to show off your work your going to get comments you like and ones you don't like -shrugs-

I think it sounds okay, I think it still needs some touching up. You already said yourself that it wasn't done so I'll have to check back then.. Its decent so far though

you know what dude, I wasnt even going to leave a reply because I didnt think it worth my time. But after the way you attack someone who was just trying to help, you deserve this.

You definitely are Emo. Just admit it. You've been labeled. E-M-O. Every word you've written here is another regurgitation of the work's of others. There is absolutley no originality to this piece, all you're doing is crying. If someone actually wronged you(which I doubt), stop writing poetry and look for someone new. Stop whining about how they hurt you. If I wanted to hear crying, I'd go to the other hundred posts identical to this one.

Also you have absolutely no idea what it means to hate someone. The Jews have real hate for Hitler. You're feelings toward this chick who didn't return your calls after you sent her a scarf with drops of your blood on it is borderline malcontent, nothing more.

And finally if you're sick of life, end it biotch.

Oh just stop it. I write because I like it and I have many other talents to. I am actually happy. I just went threw a hard time so far. Being in the hopsital, best friend and neighbor diing, my school grades failing, me having an operation, suddenly my mum wants to commit suicide,....it kind of gets to you. I usually don't get uptight like this but I DO LOVE LIFE! FOR GODS SAKE.

I'm the only one in my school for being recognized for my music. I play instruments and I sing. For gods sake don't you dare judge me ever again. You just senless and dont even know me.


and i do know how it is to hate someone. I just never can describe it anymore. Try knowing someone killed your best friend and lost a baby. TRY THAT......

edited it...

You can try all you want to make me feel guilty with your sob story but I honestly don't care. I didn't reply in this to hear your life problems, I came in to critique your work which is exactly what I did. It was depressing and it was unoriginal. Deal with it you Emo puss.

FOR GOD SAKES JUST SMOKE SOME POT!!!!

Well I know the criticism that Jeremy gave was harsh, but if you're looking for criticisms on your work you have to learn accept negative criticism too (even if it's as "negative" as Jeremy's). Jeremy thinks that you're work is unoriginal... He thinks that you should try writing about other things. Personally, I think that it's unoriginal too. I see way to many of these "I feel bad" poems floating around cB. I guess I would like to see something new also.

I guess Jeremy is writing an "I feel bad" poem as we speak... just to prove a point... >.>

Keep writing, you'll get better.

hate to break it to yah hun but..
You have as much talent as my left pinky toenail . I mean seriously how could you write such a thing? It sounds like every other song on the radio or any other emo kid poem. and dont give me that line, "im not emo... Im emotional" its the same thing kid. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and suck it up. and this b.s story you made up about everyone you love trying to commit suicide, friend lost a baby blah blah, come on i bet your like 15. Stop whinning and start writting real poetry if your capable. also check your grammar, last time i checked after every line of a poem there doesnt need to be a semicolon. if you cant handle the criticism on your poetry maybe your just not meant to be a poet. nuff' said

Maybe he's into programming...

sorry...its a habbit...lol :p and i are a gal