MY BFS MOM HATES ME!!!, things are getting worse |
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 Aug 3 2006, 09:42 PM
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#1
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 i call it love<333  Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479  |
[font=Arial]this is pretty long so be prepared ^_^ [/font=arial]hmm ok well first i met this guy Elmer.. a lllooooong time ago! about a few years ago. i had a crush on him and he had a crush on me... but we never saw each other after that.. THEN i met him again in sept.2005` at a YFC Camp. we remembered each other but didnt really talk. he gave me his number and since the last day of camp.. weve been talking EVERY SINGLE DAY even up til` around 4am. wed both get in trouble alot too. finally on Jan. 06, 2006 at 1:43am HE ASKED ME OUT <333 3 days before my birthday ! but ever since he and i talk on the phone.. his mom n dad never liked me. my mom&dad never knew either. >.< a few weeks after we were going out i had a bad feeling about that day.. & i was right. His mom told my aunt about me & him and she told my mom!!!! my mom talked to me.. & she thinks hes my first BF but he isnt.. =] IM HIS first GF cuz hes always been lookin` for the right girl that he wanted to be with. weeeellllll.. amazingly my mom WANTED me to tell her and she thought it was cute. she kept asking why i chose him.. but yeah. THEN.. things get worse.. his dads always yelling at him. and his parents are such SDHFDGGH yeah !  grr.. his dad doesnt really care && my parents talked to him. MY DAD DOESNT KNOW ABOUT ME & HIM. but my mom knows. one day a few months ago elmer told me he wouldnt hug me until i talked to his mom. so i gathered all my courage and walked up to her with a friend of mine. his mom IGNORED ME THE HOLE TIME!! i was so upset. she acts like a teenager. she told him she AUTOMATICALLY knew who i was & what kinda girl i was with just one look at me. WTF IS THAT ?! then she talks SOOO much mess about me.. shes like a damn` kid or something. ugh. i try to be nice.. i respect her & all that but shes so MEAN. she cant hold onto him forever. sdghogfiogh AGH ! & she MAD ALSO cuz i invite him to the movies and parties.. WTF ? THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH DOING THAT!!!!! his mom is so closeminded too!! jeez` Elmers always defending me and his mom gets mad when he does that. we dont see each other alot.. just.. a few times a month.. the longest ive gone without seeing him is about 2 months ? hmm && right now.. last time i saw him was 2 weeks ago. jeez` idk what his moms problem is. i dont understand her and she doesnt even wanna get to know me or anything ! my aunt is trying to set up a gathering thing for my parents & his & my aunt & whatever.. but his moms being a bitch` & doesnt wanna. my parents dont like his mom so whatever. idk.. HELP ME ! how am i supposed to deal with this !? i love him so much.. but things are just getting worse & i dont really know how to explain the rest of it.. |
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Aug 3 2006, 10:01 PM
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#2
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 Lose yourself and fly away, hide away for the day Group: Member Posts: 242 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 446,527 |
I dont have lovelife experience but i seriosly think you should be straight up maybe sugarcoat it a lil but tell his mom how you feel i would say something like this(not saying you should, i have no experience loo, but this is how i would deal!)
I have a few issues with the way im being treated like, how do you know who i am with just looking at me?! I bet if you talked to me then you would you know who i am. But ill tell you 1 thing about me right now! I DO NOT like being treated the way your treating me! I don't know you very well, I'm sure your actually a very likeable person but right now, your acting a lil...well...rude...If you have issues with me, just tell me! Cause i have issues with you and here they are! You don't even know me! how do you know what I'm like! your acting like a kid! I've tried to be respectable but I can take this anymore! I really care about your son, if you think im out to hurt him then your wrong! -------------------------------- THat alk would probably get you in trouble but i would say that |
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| *This Confession* |
Aug 3 2006, 10:06 PM
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#3
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Yea I can see what you mean, his mom makes me think of this one girl I know.
Anyway I think you should just walk up to her and be completely reasonable and just tell her that you really need to talk to her. Ask her to honestly tell you why she has a problem with you, and if she ignores you then get her attention and hold on to it, and if she says nothing then bring up all the things that give you the impression that she doesn't like you and has a problem with you. You need to act completely sincere about it and only go up to her by yourself, and not tag a friend along. |
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Aug 3 2006, 10:07 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 4,357 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,115 |
i think you should respect how other people's parents think of you. if you really can't stand it, just kiss ass to her by buying her stuff and complimenting her. i mean, if you really like a person, no one should get in the way of that.
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| *This Confession* |
Aug 3 2006, 10:09 PM
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#5
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Cake - No offense at all, but being a fake person and not just yourself. How is that going to help? Eventually shes going to see right through it and shes going to be like she is now.
I don't think shes going to think your anything but a kid unless you act like a adult and face her yourself. |
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Aug 3 2006, 10:10 PM
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#6
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i call it love<333 Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479 |
haha thanks ^_^ yeah i dont understand her.. shes so irritating ! his birthday is on august11 but im trying to throw him a suprise bday party on aug.18th or august20th but i probably CANT do it cuz his mom wont let him go out anywhere & it would really hurt cuz ive never thrown a bday party before and i really wanted him to like it.. =/ and im not the type to disrespect adults-- only my older bro & my grandma.. sfghyfgu so irritating.. & shes tryina` seperate us..
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Aug 3 2006, 10:12 PM
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#7
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 <(- -)><(- - <)(>- -)><(- - )> Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 400,609 |
well i would suggest you have a long talk with your boyfriend with his mom and right there say in front of her that she has been extremly rude and you would like to know why she has been rude. but your boyfriend HAS TO BE THERE because if you guys want to get through this whole mom problem them it needs to be together and not along with your friend or anything but both of you. you can tell his mom that its really unfair that she has to judge someone just by looking at them and tell her that you want to be with her son and wouldnt do anything to hurt him. jus talk to her and be really calm and respectful when you talk to her dont lose your head and start yelling at her or cussing because in the end if she acts like a teenager and you like a mature teenager your boyfriend will realize how crazy his mom is.
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Aug 3 2006, 10:15 PM
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#8
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i call it love<333 Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479 |
QUOTE(Youraisemeup @ Aug 3 2006, 10:01 PM)  I dont have lovelife experience but i seriosly think you should be straight up maybe sugarcoat it a lil but tell his mom how you feel i would say something like this(not saying you should, i have no experience loo, but this is how i would deal!) I have a few issues with the way im being treated like, how do you know who i am with just looking at me?! I bet if you talked to me then you would you know who i am. But ill tell you 1 thing about me right now! I DO NOT like being treated the way your treating me! I don't know you very well, I'm sure your actually a very likeable person but right now, your acting a lil...well...rude...If you have issues with me, just tell me! Cause i have issues with you and here they are! You don't even know me! how do you know what I'm like! your acting like a kid! I've tried to be respectable but I can take this anymore! I really care about your son, if you think im out to hurt him then your wrong! -------------------------------- THat alk would probably get you in trouble but i would say that haha thanks ^_^ yeah i dont understand her.. shes so irritating ! his birthday is on august11 but im trying to throw him a suprise bday party on aug.18th or august20th but i probably CANT do it cuz his mom wont let him go out anywhere & it would really hurt cuz ive never thrown a bday party before and i really wanted him to like it.. =/ and im not the type to disrespect adults-- only my older bro & my grandma.. sfghyfgu so irritating.. & shes tryina` seperate us.. QUOTE(iROCKYOURSOCKS @ Aug 3 2006, 10:12 PM) well i would suggest you have a long talk with your boyfriend with his mom and right there say in front of her that she has been extremly rude and you would like to know why she has been rude. but your boyfriend HAS TO BE THERE because if you guys want to get through this whole mom problem them it needs to be together and not along with your friend or anything but both of you. you can tell his mom that its really unfair that she has to judge someone just by looking at them and tell her that you want to be with her son and wouldnt do anything to hurt him. jus talk to her and be really calm and respectful when you talk to her dont lose your head and start yelling at her or cussing because in the end if she acts like a teenager and you like a mature teenager your boyfriend will realize how crazy his mom is. well yeah idk but his mom just hung up on me when my bf put the phone down and went awayfor alittle while. now hes mad and all that other ish` but idk.. she said she feels uncomfortable with me around her. JEEZ` IM NOT GONNA RAPE HER ! QUOTE(Cake. @ Aug 3 2006, 10:07 PM) i think you should respect how other people's parents think of you. if you really can't stand it, just kiss ass to her by buying her stuff and complimenting her. i mean, if you really like a person, no one should get in the way of that. but im not the type to act fake & do something just to try & please someone.. >.< and plus she wont listen to me even if i try to talk to her |
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Aug 3 2006, 10:22 PM
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#9
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<(- -)><(- - <)(>- -)><(- - )> Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 400,609 |
talk to her in person with your boyfriend and seriously tell her that you are not gonna rape her or anything lol she acts like if your some kind of criminal ready to kill her
 oh yea doesnt your boyfriend realize that you didnt hang up on him if his phone was hung up on his reciever and everything cant he possibly take a wild guess that his mom or dad hung up the phone? or does he think you magically flew in to hang up the phone for him and ran back to your phone line? lol 
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Aug 3 2006, 10:29 PM
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#10
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i call it love<333 Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479 |
QUOTE(iROCKYOURSOCKS @ Aug 3 2006, 10:22 PM) talk to her in person with your boyfriend and seriously tell her that you are not gonna rape her or anything lol she acts like if your some kind of criminal ready to kill her oh yea doesnt your boyfriend realize that you didnt hang up on him if his phone was hung up on his reciever and everything cant he possibly take a wild guess that his mom or dad hung up the phone? or does he think you magically flew in to hang up the phone for him and ran back to your phone line? lol lol no he went to his moms car to help take out the things and when he did that his mom hung up the phone. jeez` shes an ass.. >.< =X |
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Aug 3 2006, 10:41 PM
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#11
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 187 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 233,590 |
I once had this problem not because I feared anyones parents no they tend to respect me because I always was never afraid to step right up and meet them but this isnt the issue I do think that for an adult she is being childish and smothering (depending on age but yes childish) you made an effort to communicate with her if she does not accept that be your own person and avoid her if you can.
There is no convincing her if she put you in a certain class in her mind she probably thinks your after one thing and is trying to protect him the best way she knows how the bad part is thats only gonna make him rebelious. Since your mom already knows have you talked to her about the way that she treats you? Anywho it is not the parents you are dating it is the son none of that should matter to you right now its not like your getting married to him tomorrow get your education get your career going and see where it takes you two do not worry about his parents. |
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Aug 3 2006, 10:49 PM
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#12
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i call it love<333 Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479 |
QUOTE(jsmooth4ever @ Aug 3 2006, 10:41 PM) I once had this problem not because I feared anyones parents no they tend to respect me because I always was never afraid to step right up and meet them but this isnt the issue I do think that for an adult she is being childish and smothering (depending on age but yes childish) you made an effort to communicate with her if she does not accept that be your own person and avoid her if you can. There is no convincing her if she put you in a certain class in her mind she probably thinks your after one thing and is trying to protect him the best way she knows how the bad part is thats only gonna make him rebelious. Since your mom already knows have you talked to her about the way that she treats you? Anywho it is not the parents you are dating it is the son none of that should matter to you right now its not like your getting married to him tomorrow get your education get your career going and see where it takes you two do not worry about his parents. i know werenot gonna get married but i dont wanna lose him !!! my mom knows about his mom and so does my dad and now its starting a WHOLE mess now !! everythings gay !! he cant go to anything i invite him to.. he never has.. >.< |
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Aug 3 2006, 10:57 PM
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#13
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 187 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 233,590 |
QUOTE(msz`cookie @ Aug 3 2006, 10:49 PM) i know werenot gonna get married but i dont wanna lose him !!! my mom knows about his mom and so does my dad and now its starting a WHOLE mess now !! everythings gay !! he cant go to anything i invite him to.. he never has.. >.< Keep in touch with him stop letting his parents know your inviting him. |
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Aug 3 2006, 11:12 PM
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#14
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 msladyliberty Group: Member Posts: 151 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 105,766 |
I'd KISS ASS.
 here's how I delt with an ex-man's mama. -got more involved in school (i.e., joined soccer team, became an editor in yearkbook, joined clubs, did community services) -got more involved in something she liked. (she's into the Filipino community, so I went to their big parties with my realtives and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek PUBLICLY) -i took her side when it came to discipline. (id' be on the phone with him, late at night, and she'd come on saying it's hellah late. So i'd say, "she's right it is late, we have school tomorrow. Thanks for reminding us Mrs. 'so&so' i'll talk to him tomorrow.) I hope this guy is worth it...'cause if he is...you gotta BREAK YO BACK for him...AND be 90% of yourself...the 10%, kiss ass...and act morally correct. It seems like he's a mama's boy. But your man has to play his part too. She needs to feel comfortable enough that you're a GOOD INFLUENCE on him. |
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Aug 3 2006, 11:21 PM
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#15
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i call it love<333 Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479 |
QUOTE(jsmooth4ever @ Aug 3 2006, 10:57 PM) Keep in touch with him stop letting his parents know your inviting him. yeah i talk to him everyday yup yup yup i dont let his parents know he has to ask permission first QUOTE(msladyliberty @ Aug 3 2006, 11:12 PM) I'd KISS ASS. here's how I delt with an ex-man's mama. -got more involved in school (i.e., joined soccer team, became an editor in yearkbook, joined clubs, did community services) -got more involved in something she liked. (she's into the Filipino community, so I went to their big parties with my realtives and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek PUBLICLY) -i took her side when it came to discipline. (id' be on the phone with him, late at night, and she'd come on saying it's hellah late. So i'd say, "she's right it is late, we have school tomorrow. Thanks for reminding us Mrs. 'so&so' i'll talk to him tomorrow.) I hope this guy is worth it...'cause if he is...you gotta BREAK YO BACK for him...AND be 90% of yourself...the 10%, kiss ass...and act morally correct. It seems like he's a mama's boy. But your man has to play his part too. She needs to feel comfortable enough that you're a GOOD INFLUENCE on him. hes not being a mamas boy.. yeah im more of 95% of ME && 5% of KiSSiN` ASS but sometimes it doesnt work when i try to tel him stuffs cuz hes so frckn` stubborn.. yeah.. hes worth it..
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Aug 3 2006, 11:31 PM
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#16
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 101708 <3 (: Group: Member Posts: 253 Joined: Feb 2006 Member No: 382,431 |
ahh omg. hope this doesn't turn out like the movie "monster-in-law" haha ;D
hmm i think the best way is to just confront his mom about the way she's treating you without getting disrespectful. just do it in an adult manner and i'm sure she'll respect you. well good luck with everything [: |
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Aug 4 2006, 12:19 AM
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#17
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i call it love<333 Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479 |
QUOTE(x___F0RG0TTEN @ Aug 3 2006, 11:31 PM) ahh omg. hope this doesn't turn out like the movie "monster-in-law" haha ;D hmm i think the best way is to just confront his mom about the way she's treating you without getting disrespectful. just do it in an adult manner and i'm sure she'll respect you. well good luck with everything [: FORGOTTEN: yeah thats what i thought of and also this filipino show Gulong Ng Palad and i my friends thought of Romeo & Juliet lol |
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| *liquidize* |
Aug 4 2006, 12:22 AM
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#18
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Damn just follow myu lead and just be like " I'm sorry but i gotta goooooooo "
I'm sorry that I have to see you everyday and not tell you my name! |
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Aug 4 2006, 01:10 AM
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#19
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i call it love<333 Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,479 |
QUOTE(liquidize @ Aug 4 2006, 12:22 AM) Damn just follow myu lead and just be like " I'm sorry but i gotta goooooooo " I'm sorry that I have to see you everyday and not tell you my name! ALL OF WHAT YOU SAID: im supposed to say that or where u talking to me? lol sorry i sound stupid but i was confused.. =] |
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Aug 4 2006, 02:30 AM
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#20
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Lose yourself and fly away, hide away for the day Group: Member Posts: 242 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 446,527 |
I thought of a different way to handle it too!
This is just me, you should probably be yourself but this is how i would handle it too I feel you have problems with me i really care about your son so i think we should talk and get things straightened out between us to the point where we can at least be civil to one another. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Remember, just my suggestion, its all you when the time comes. |
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| *T0rmented_Soul* |
Aug 4 2006, 02:46 AM
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#21
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wow dude is gonna have a birthday..and you can't do nothing about it..cuz the mom is soo drama queen..but then after you and you boy get into arguements..then he gets into arguement with his mom..which causes him not to see you..I think he should step up, go against his parents wishes instead of falling back behind after every fight. If you love him. right now you can support him...and it seems that his parents...are really something else..like one of them strict parents you see in filipino dramas..usually it happens to girls..but for a guy I dunno. but it looks like it's been quite awhile since you and him been going out...and not seeing him either must hurt..and to feel like maybe things are getting out of hand..hold your head high..you've done alot and you've loved alot to let his parents hold you down..if he believes in you, you believe in him..maybe you'll get your big break. dont give up.
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| *liquidize* |
Aug 4 2006, 04:26 AM
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#22
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I meant break up with him and tell his mom to shoot her son because you're pregnant now. that works EvERYTIME
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Aug 4 2006, 09:41 AM
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#23
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 sarcasm hides what you really feel Group: Member Posts: 550 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,105 |
bringing a friend up w/ you to talk to her wasnt the best move....if you wanted to have a decent conversation that wasnt the right way to go about it...
sometimes you just cant help the way people feel about you. do you have a rep? do you do things that others would question? maybe when she gets used to the idea that her son now has to be shared shell calm down then you can get everything straight. and on the contrary to who ever said, confront the mom and the son. i would highly recommend you dont do that!!! you think shes defensive now?... you dont ever piss off the person who makes your food, or in this case the person who gave birth to your boyfriend. just wait until things calm down and privately talk to her. ask her what her concerns are, what she doesnt like, and try to reassure your not what she percieves you as |
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Aug 4 2006, 10:04 AM
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#24
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 Yeeahh Group: Member Posts: 81 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 447,059 |
Sometimes you can't help how parents signficicant others feel about you. When I dated this black guy..his mom didn't like me because I was white...I couldn't obvisouly do anything about that..
The whole bringing a friend thing wasn't a wise move either. She prolly got offended by that and wanted you to come by yourself..your friend isn't dating her son after all.. |
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Aug 4 2006, 11:04 AM
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#25
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 when_ur_gone_who's_ganna_save_me Group: Member Posts: 66 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 446,377 |
Tell your mom and if she under stands and is considerate she will tell him to back off or you can do it the fun way: play tricks on him woopie coushons on his seats shaving cream in his walet that will drive him away
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